Balancing Womanhood and Motherhood
by Katie Klute

All mothers in today's unique society share similarities, but in many instances we are very different. Some mothers are young, some are older; some are working outside the home, some stay home full-time; some have one child while others have six. Because of so many variations upon the image of "motherhood", there is no one way to define it. There is, however, a universal need among all moms: to be balanced and content in the role of "mother". This will translate into being confident, joyful, and a quality mother.

The working mothers whom I know work because they enjoy it. It helps to define them and balance them. Many moms that stay home and have no desire to work find joy in being the sole caregiver for their children. The important thing for all moms to do is find balance. The hardest part of finding balance is making time and figuring out what you are making time for. To figure this out, consider these easy steps:

1) Think back on your childhood. What types of activities did you enjoy? Do you do any of them now? If not, try doing one. One thing that I loved to do was dance, not formal dance, but dancing in my own space at my own speed. Today I do that with my kids. It is fun and freeing. Did you enjoy art? reading? swimming? or playing an instrument? If you take on a past hobby or love, you may reconnect to wonderful, forgotten parts of your soul.

2) Take a break. Hire a sitter, trade children with friends, leave the children with your husband. Just take a few hours to yourself and window shop, hike in the woods, or go to the local library or book store. The peace and quiet will fill you and charge you for another day.

3) Notice your goose bumps. Have you noticed a chill and little bumps appearing out of nowhere when you were perfectly warm? What was said to you? Where were you? That chill is your soul being touched. For me, goose bumps appear when I listen to good music and/or a strong singing voice. When I need to reconnect I put in some great music and my mood is instantly lifted.

4) Share. This old social rule carries a new meaning as an adult. What I really mean is: share yourself. It is so important to have friends and/or family members that you can share your thoughts and feelings with. Whether you have one or twenty, it does not matter. We all need human connection, but especially a mother of young children.

5) Seek learning opportunities. Opportunities for learning exist all over: the internet, in most towns, in every college and many churches. Churches often have small groups that discuss topics such as parenting, friendships, weight loss, and marriage. Not only can one learn from the structured lessons but also from the other people involved. The internet is full of free courses in success, abundance, listening to God, meditation. Your city may offer reduced rate learning courses through a Parks & Recreation department. If you are near a Community College or University enrolling in a course may be an option. Finally, a new trend is the Spirituality Center. They are usually non-denominational and more holistically based (mind, body, spirit). They may offer week long or weekend retreats, or three hour courses on certain subjects. Many have overnight accomodations at reduced rates. All of these provide the wonderful opportunity to continue growth through learning.

Women are especially vulnerable to societal pulls of work and family. The way to retain a sense of self through the tough years of motherhood is to daily remind yourself of who you are. When you have a strong sense of self you maintain balance and when you are balanced your children, spouse, and friends will benefit. In the end, though, you will benefit the most. Your well-being and happiness now and in the future depends on how you maintain balance among all of your many roles.